So it is official. We know what makes those people who have the efflorescent quality of charm, so loveable.  I am sure you don’t need to be shown why this is something worth having, we all know that person who just seems to be loved by all. Mostly, they are not especially attractive or even talented.

Charisma (the word that is) dates well back to  the days of the legend of the ultimate seductress, Helen of Troy. At that time charisma had a distinct sexual quality to it. Helen Troy is thought to have the face that launched a thousand shipsThat is to say, if you had khárisma (pronouced car-rees-ma’), you had sex appeal. That is where the year of the sexy life comes in, but the question is is it something one can acquire?

The good news for those of us who were not dusted in that magic pixie dust, some very smart people have worked out 6 qualities that make up charm, this is going to be my project for the next 6 weeks.

Each week is going to explore and give examples of each quality, a how to for ladies on the go.
Life is short, make sure that you are getting the most from it. Being charming opens doors, starts off relationships and gives you a reason to smile.

Course beyond the 6 qualities I will explore of the coming weeks, feeling great

Kisses,

PS. While we are going on about Greek mythology Charis was one of the handmaidens of Aphrodite.

Just becuase the outstide is wet doesn’t mean you have to stay inside.

1. A very dear friend of mine said that in her native country taking a rain bath was the norm. This involved stripping down to a swimsuit (or less) and just enjoy the rain. She said that dodging raindrops was a silly practice and that enjoying yourself is where it is at.

2. Go deluxe with the cleansing. Buy the lush bath fizzies, splash out on the expensive loofah and scrub it up. You will feel excellent afterwards (and a lot warmer during) Being inside all the time you start to look at things more closely, so make sure you will like what you see! Speaking of seeing indoors, this brings me to my next point.

3. Set up your bedroom for a cosy winter. For me this meant putting in new curtains and making sure I splurged on the on high thread count bed spread. Four hundred thread count, heavily embroided and pink. Don’t forget, we are all hard working adults. Thus, any pleasure you want your should have. I don’t do guilty pleasures, just things as a hard working adult deserves at the end of a long day.

4. Don’t forget enjoying your lover is definitely an indoor sport. Take a look at our lingerie and find something sizzling hot.

Love,

There are a lot of things in life that can take us from the usual to the “oh grief my neck is killing me/can’t sleep/hair falling out stress”. Family dramas, work, personal crisis that goes well beyond a chipped manicure.

All of these ideas are a double hit of the sexy life, they will reduce stress, but they also have an added benefit that makes you prettier, sexier or happier.

This one may seem a little airy fairy, but bear with me. As a side note, it is always ‘bear with me’, never ‘bare with me’ unless you are hoping to show someone your lingerie.

Stretching is were it is at, about 20 minutes every day. A German study showed that women who did yoga twice a week for 1 hour showed a whopping 65% increase in their self reported wellbeing. An hour twice a week is a bit much, but 20 minutes is only 5 songs of your choice long. So with the increase in well being you will be able to look hotter in that babydoll and get into some great poses with poise and balance. Major win.

Next stress reliever is eating your vitamins. When stressed your body burns through the B vitamin group, another benefit is that your blood will function better. This helps with clear skin, a major beauty plus.

Take a beauty break regularly. Taking time out to stop thinking about the important things or being productive and curling up with a face mask, book and maybe a little wine will help you unwind. I highly recommend making it regular, waiting for the time to happen will result in it never being done. For me every Sunday night I do my manicure and pedicure, no exceptions.

Now, don’t blush when I says this but… have some sex. A Scottish study publish in Biological Psychology showed that people who reported an active sex life  responded better to stressful situations. Besides having a good time having sex helps you wriggle away from wrinkles. Cologen productions increases immediately after stripping off something sexy.

So there you have it. Dealing will stress doesn’t have to be boring and blah. You do have some options that will make the stress ease off. Keep in mind being an adult means dealing with adult matters, expecting your life to be perfect, or expecting yourself to be perfect isn’t a mature outlook. It is a seductive idea, if we were just a little better,  planned a bit more, did xyz differently we would all be divinely happy and admired by all, but no one is like that.

As per usual, all my love ladies,

Hair- baking soda is great for dealing with build up. Two tablespoons massaged into a wet scalped and rinsed thoroughly will make your hair shiner, less oily and  make swinging your hair a lot easier. I don’t really need to tell you how this will help you get a date? Bonus hair tip: use baking soda to clean your brushes and combs, if you think getting rid of build up on your scalp is importat, think about what collects on your brushes!

Face- glowing skin sure makes a face to face conversation a lot easier. Baking soda is a great exfoilant, not too rough. To avoid pulling to hard on your skin, only ever rub you skin with your little and ring finger. By do this you are a lot less likely to be accidently rough, no premature ageing for you!

Smile- shining hair and glowing skin needs fresh breath to match. Now, I am not going to lie to you, this tastes horrible. The benefits include clean gunk free gums and breath that will last. Take your toothpaste  and mix with an equal part soda. Be brave and gently brush your mouth paying particular attention to your gums.

Did you know baking soda is half of the key mix for bath bombs?

For all over body softness, add 1/4 cup of baking soda to some bath water and have a long soak (because as we all know, I live for bathing). The other half of the fizzing ingrediant in a bath bomb is citric acid (for  the fizz philes out there).

Down to your toes, a light sprinkly of the white powder will keep bad smells down. Combined with a foot soak, your feet will be soft and smelling sweet.

There you have it. This guide will give you clear skin, shiny hair, fresh breath, smooth skin and stinky free feet. Just make sure your lingerie drawer is properly stocked before you head out alright?

The premise is that each person has two or three things that really make them feel all warm and fuzzy, and a few things that leave them cold. The 5 broad catagories are acts of service, spend time, spend money, words of affirmation (hereafter called compliments), and touch.

Taking my sweetheart for example, he loves touch and acts of service. So I make sure to call him my strong man often and offer to bring him things often.

How do I know what he likes, I didn’t make him take a silly cosmo quiz (I think that boarders on assualt with a blunt instrument), but watch what they do towards people they like. He ways ALWAYS trying to hug me, stroke me, grab my backside, I was about to slap his hands (clearly touch is not my love langauge) and he was peppering me with offers of help. These were actually the things he wanted from  me. You can also see how he expresses affection for his family. Are they huggers (touch), fixing things together (acts of service), watching rugby togther (quality time)?
1. Touch. Plenty of men fall into the catagory, I sure don’t, but I am the bra wearing variety of human.  Hug them, offer a massage, wear some lingerie and head for bed. Hold their hand, give them a smooch, offer a 30 second neck massage when you need to ask them something. Make a big effort to greet them at the door with a hug and a kiss. Slow dance in the living room after dinner. Read an article on scalp massage then offer them one.  Basically you love ‘em up by rubbing them up.
2. Acts of service-or as my husband likes to call it “be my bitch.”  I married him for reasons other than his ability to communicate politely. Obviously. This is about doing things for them that would normally be in their department. Pick a chore that is theirs and then do it for them. I fall squarely in this catagory. I love a freshly made bed, even more so if the blankets are in the right order, and I really feel loved. Other examples are things like making dinner, washing the car and doing the weeding. For the low time investment of 10 minutes 3 times a week you could really make a difference.
3. Spending time. These sort of people want the long walks on the beach and intimate conversation. These are the sort of people who really appreciate good listening skills.  People who feel loved when spening time together also hate being interrupted, so  bite your tongue. Pull out the DVDs, the board games or get a hobby together. Evens if all it is is trying to get 3 stars for every level in Angry Birds. This is one of the most time consuming love language.

5. Spending money.  Some people think of these people as golddiggers, but these people are no different to those who enjoy a hug more than a compliment. There are some obvious options, buy them their favourite too-expensive-for-everyday drink to their magazine. You could also try buying their favourite style of lingerie and wearing it.
There you have it, 5 super simple way to make your relationship better. No need to have long TAWKS, get in touch with your inner child, or have him fill out a quiz.

So now that you have your significant other pegged, here are some ideas of what you can do for them(that will really make them feel good).

4. Compliments- This is definitely one of the easiest ones to get the hang of. We all know how great if feels when your darling says “honey you love hot in that bustiers thing“. Men are almost as vain as us, but instead of admiring his backside, tell him how big his muscles are. Even better, tell him how much easier your life is because of his big muscles. More specifically, when he moves  something heavy, tell him how much room you now have since that clunky thing went away.

PS. If you have trouble remembering them, my husband has a unique way of putting it. He is my blue collar man so you will have to excuse the language: buy me stuff, be my bumboy, spend some time with me, compliment me and then kiss me you fool!

Winter is coming. Like it or not. However, don’t think that because the temperature is dropping that you need that the lingerie needs to be put away.
There are  few things you can do to keep the good time rolling.

1. Have an indoor picnic, complete with bubbly and fingers foods. Keep in mind we are all adults here so you cannot have to many pillows and cushions on the floor.

There is a lot of fun to be had with chocolate, nice biscuits, marshmallows and a candle for some safe indoor flame roasting.

2. Plan ahead. When you feel like having a good time together, turn up the heat. It is a sweet fantasy that all you need is some hot loving, but the reality being cold does nothing for the mood. So, use an electric blanket to warm the sheets, then have some fun.

3. Go long. We are bring out a selection of long gowns coming out so you can yourself fairly warm without losing one little bit of sex appeal
So beat the blahs this winter, find something hot to wear and keep it fun.

We are celebrating ourannivesary this weekend, so I took a bottle from wine that was drunk at out wedding and now I have a decoration I can change as often as I like. Write a cute message, draw a picture (yay for you if you are that talented!).

I am not a super crafty person, my fingers are not nimble and  I tend to stab myself with pins (how I ever made my own cutains I will never know). If I can do it, you can do it.
So, take one wine bottle and get the label plus its little collar off. There are two ways to get labels off. One is to steam them off, the other is to grease them off using WD40. Your choice.

Next use a fine grit sand paper. Rough it up. Shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes. Use a damp cloth to get the dust off. This is an outside job.

Then, use a spray primer and spray all over. Make sure you get all 360 degrees. Let it dry, give it at least an hour.

You will need to go to a paint store to find this, most craft stores wont have it. Use chalkboard paint on the bottle.

One word of caution, this is a porous surface so those markers that are meant for chalk boards will usualy be permanent. Use regular chalk, a slightly damp surface will make the colors stand out.

So this is a odds and sods collection of tips.  Each and every one of these has been tested by me and approved by life.

1. Most people shop once a week, anything you can do to stop it from going wrong is a good thing. For this reason, write your food shopping list in the order the grocery store is in. This allows you to check everything off efficiently and once you are done with a section, you are done. No having to leave your cart to go get the pineapple, you know you grabbed it along with the garlic.

2. Put a (really) high price on the real estate in your brain. This means that if you dislike a person, stop thinking about them. Only think about things that are productive, such a wrestling with a problem mentally. I don’t recommend wrestling them physically, there is a very wise saying about not wrestling pigs. Don’t do it. You get dirty and the pig enjoys it. Following on valuable real estate, realise that something that gives you mental pleasure, reality shows, pop music, gorgeous intimates, are worth it if they make you happy. Don’t have guilty pleasures, just have pleasure.

This is one of my favourite points so I will belabour it a bit more. If you really want to value your mental real estate, stop procrastinating. You will stop having to talk yourself out of doing the task again and again. This actually making your more efficient. You won’t have to think about making that icky phone call 3 times, only and then you do it.

3. You cannot tidy clutter. It just doesn’t happen. I am not a clutter bug myself and it makes keeping the house a lot cleaner much easier. Grab a grocery bag and fill it up with stuff.  Do one a day until you are truely happy with the level of knick knacks. Keep in mind that electronic photos frames, scanners and mp3 players really do change how much space we need to keep things.

4. One more thing to think about on the cleaning front- you cannot keep it tidy unless you have proper infrastructure. This means desks with drawers, shelving units, plactic contains (I buy Klip it -always go kiwi), and jars. Trying to keep a clean home without places to put things is like building a sandcastle when the tide is  comes in, location matters. On that note, don’t be afraid to put things in ‘odd’ places if that is where you use it more. My hairbrush lives in my rolltop desk, because thats where I usually am when it is about time to brush my hair.

5. Get whiter eyes (looks much more youthful), clearer skin (because acne does not makes you look younger) and better nails by eating fish oil. Nothing easier than making sure you take a few tabs a day.

6. Keep a diary. I am not talking about writing like and angsty teenager, but writing down what you need to get done, where you need to be, and what time you need to be there. The faintest ink is better than the sharpest memories. This adds to you happieness becase you get the satisfaction of knowing that you have accomplished all you set out to do that day. Means you sleep easy, no nagging feelings that you forgot something.

So there you have it, alot of being happy is making sure you are the one running your life and not letting the little things run you. If you know what the little things are (diary, mental real estate, decluttering and grocery lists) , and keeping yourself happy (fish oil and lingerie) life becomes far more managable.

Kisses,

Come here! Then go away.

Believe it or not, this one particular move can be done in less than 5 minutes. Expose some flesh, insenoute something erotic, the immediately vacatge the area. Flirty glance over the the shoulder is optional. Men are hunters, even if they work in an office. Let them chase you, it is plenty of fun!

Get Swishy. Be it is a skirt, hair aor dangly earrings, swishing is very femme and men find it fascinating. I love my dangly pearl drop earrings because they take seconds to put it, but for the rest of the day I am set to  be that little bit more lovely.

My final dancing tip? Wear something sparkly, it really does take any outfit from ‘nice’  to special.

As I sit here writing this is dawns on me how often I write about enjoying the moment (or at least trying to make sure the unpleasant ones are morebearable). I think it is a mistake to save pleasure for a special occassions, often they get set aside, or don’t come often enough to keep you smiling.

Practical undies change into lingerie when they have more than the bare minimum frill, or they match or they are something completely impractical like a teddy. Wearing lingerie at the end of the day, or middle of the weekend you shift from being all things to all people (mother/wife/employee/girlfriend) to seductress supreme. It is almost impossible to worry when wearing lingerie, the bright colours, smooth textures and general decadence changes how you feel. It is just that simple.

Lingerie is instant sex appeal, never mind that your hair is frizzy, he won’t notice once you are wrapped in satin. Think that your legs look a little dry? Slip on some stockings with a garter belt.

Because lingerie is an everyday thing, rather than once in a blue moon, we make sure our lingerie is the type of quality you can enjoy for years. Much like a good kitchen knife, something that feels good in the hand and will last for years with some loving care (blog post coming up on that soon), make sure you get quality.

Kisses,