Archive for the ‘Adult ideas for fun’ Category
What is good in a relationship- the love languages
What this blog isn’t is a book review of the 5 love languages by Dr. Chapman. What this is is a discussion of how this can make your efforts in a relationship more effective. This isn’t about to get all hearts and flowers on you (as one of my favourite professors says), this is just a simple to the point ways to get more bang for your buck.
The premise is that each person has two or three things that really make them feel all warm and fuzzy, and a few things that leave them cold. The 5 broad catagories are acts of service, spend time, spend money, words of affirmation (hereafter called compliments), and touch.
Taking my sweetheart for example, he loves touch and acts of service. So I make sure to call him my strong man often and offer to bring him things often.
How do I know what he likes, I didn’t make him take a silly cosmo quiz (I think that boarders on assualt with a blunt instrument), but watch what they do towards people they like. He ways ALWAYS trying to hug me, stroke me, grab my backside, I was about to slap his hands (clearly touch is not my love langauge) and he was peppering me with offers of help. These were actually the things he wanted from me. You can also see how he expresses affection for his family. Are they huggers (touch), fixing things together (acts of service), watching rugby togther (quality time)?
1. Touch. Plenty of men fall into the catagory, I sure don’t, but I am the bra wearing variety of human. Hug them, offer a massage, wear some lingerie and head for bed. Hold their hand, give them a smooch, offer a 30 second neck massage when you need to ask them something. Make a big effort to greet them at the door with a hug and a kiss. Slow dance in the living room after dinner. Read an article on scalp massage then offer them one. Basically you love ‘em up by rubbing them up.
2. Acts of service-or as my husband likes to call it “be my bitch.” I married him for reasons other than his ability to communicate politely. Obviously. This is about doing things for them that would normally be in their department. Pick a chore that is theirs and then do it for them. I fall squarely in this catagory. I love a freshly made bed, even more so if the blankets are in the right order, and I really feel loved. Other examples are things like making dinner, washing the car and doing the weeding. For the low time investment of 10 minutes 3 times a week you could really make a difference.
3. Spending time. These sort of people want the long walks on the beach and intimate conversation. These are the sort of people who really appreciate good listening skills. People who feel loved when spening time together also hate being interrupted, so bite your tongue. Pull out the DVDs, the board games or get a hobby together. Evens if all it is is trying to get 3 stars for every level in Angry Birds. This is one of the most time consuming love language.
5. Spending money. Some people think of these people as golddiggers, but these people are no different to those who enjoy a hug more than a compliment. There are some obvious options, buy them their favourite too-expensive-for-everyday drink to their magazine. You could also try buying their favourite style of lingerie and wearing it.
There you have it, 5 super simple way to make your relationship better. No need to have long TAWKS, get in touch with your inner child, or have him fill out a quiz.
So now that you have your significant other pegged, here are some ideas of what you can do for them(that will really make them feel good).
4. Compliments- This is definitely one of the easiest ones to get the hang of. We all know how great if feels when your darling says “honey you love hot in that bustiers thing“. Men are almost as vain as us, but instead of admiring his backside, tell him how big his muscles are. Even better, tell him how much easier your life is because of his big muscles. More specifically, when he moves something heavy, tell him how much room you now have since that clunky thing went away.
PS. If you have trouble remembering them, my husband has a unique way of putting it. He is my blue collar man so you will have to excuse the language: buy me stuff, be my bumboy, spend some time with me, compliment me and then kiss me you fool!
Why you should buy lingerie even if you are single!
One of my close friends calls Valentines Day ‘Single Awareness Day.’ It never fails to surprise me that my smart, sweet and flirty friend always manages to be single on February 14th. Some would think that this would mean that lingerie would be wasted on her-and they would be dead wrong.
1. To remember that you are a grown woman, and that means there is a whole world of pleasure open to you. Lingerie feels great on, the fabric, the lace, it all keeps those inner flames going. When you are currently seeing someone it is easy to slip into to feeling like every whisp of desire has left your body, keeping yourself stocked in lingerie is a gorgeous testament to the contrary. If you wait for a special time, you are depriving yourself of a lot of joy.
2 Because having a drawer full of lingerie is like having a a built in highlight to your day. You get to open it and admire it each day, all the
lace and satin, the choices are yours for the taking. You have the choice of support when you sleep (camis are my favourite). You have the choice of stockings instead of socks and the choice of a supportive bustier instead of a strapless bra.
3. Because you never know when you might be showing them off! Totally innocent story:
I was young and at uni. Waiting for a friend to finish class I had sat down on the stairs. Sometime passed and I felt my friend whispering desperately in my ear “your undies are showing.” Yes, I had spent the last 10 minutes showing my peers my underwear! I did manage to find some solace in that they were pretty enough to look at.
On a less innocent note when you get caught with your pants down, you want to be assured that your knickers won’t let you down.
All the single ladies, wear something enjoyable. Life is a limited resource, make sure all aspects of your life are savoured.
Kisses,
Fun things to feed each other (and just in time for Valentines Day)
This week’s post for the year of the sexy life is about fun things to feed each other. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to get graphic. These are food to have a playful moment with in the dining room. Pleasurable food to put you in touch with your senses.
The first catagory is fingers food. Something that feels great to hold and place to your lips as you take the first bit. Think grape and orange segments (both seedless of course. I personally love dolmades (cooked rice wrapped in the grape leaf), soft cheeses and good crackers.These are the sort of things that will make your fingers tingle.
Next catagory are foods that have a delicous smell. The juiceness of a mango or ripe pair scents the air around it. A good pasta sauce makes the whole house smell great. Slow roasted rib makes the whole house smell mouth watering. The only obvious downside about the ribs is that it is very easy to look terribly unladylike while eating them. Maybe best to try this one after marriage.
The third sense to think about (clearly you need to think about taste-but I don’t think I need to write that one down) is mouth feel. Champagne bubbles on the tongue as it slides down the throat. Cheesecake is a delectable combination of the creamy filling and crumbly base. Chocolate melts on the tongue and makes your kisses sweet.
Foods to think about plating up:
Grapes
Strawberries
Champagne
Dolmades
Ribs
Cheesecakes
Ribs
Whipped cream
Chocolate pudding with shortbread cookes
Soft cheeses with crackers
Figs
Dolmades
Cherries
Pistachios
Vanilla Custard
Dolmades
Ribs
Cheesecakes
Ribs
Whipped cream
Chocolate pudding with shortbread cookes
Soft cheeses with crackers
Figs
Dolmades
Cherries
Pistachios
Vanilla Custard
Enjoy foods that at minimum fulfil 3 of the senses when eating. Make sure it smells good, tastes great, feels great in the mouth and of course tastes great. Enjoy!
What do you remember from being a child?
When I was a little girl the house I spent my first 1o years in had a spa bath that was so large that my 2 meter tall father could fit in it with room to spare!
But what was really special aobut this bathroom was that it had a TV and a VCR in it. I would spend hours in there watching a Disney movie and looking at all the different types of scrubs, gels and soaps my mother had in there. To me those jars had almost magical properties that once I became a young woman they would transform me into the beautiful princesses I saw on screen.
What does this have to do with the year of the sexy life I hear you ask? This weekend just past I returned to the pleasure of the spa tub.
I was away from home and stayed in a very nice hotel, that had an extra large corner spa bath. To properly spoil myself I had the ingrediants for an antipasto platter, a beautiful vintage, a laptop with DVDS ready to go and some very expensive bath oil from overseas.
Darling readers it was heaven!
I enjoyed myself so much I have 3 baths in one day, that is the sort of pleasure everyone one of us should be chasing in life. Something that is toe curling, blissful and gives you the energy to chase the day.
Returning to a favourite childhood pleasure is better than returning home. As an adult you have can give it a sexier edge. Wine would be entirely inappropriate for a child, as an adult it made the hot water that much more refreshing.
For someone else it might be having a closetful of frilly satin things, or maybe a baked good your mum would make for you.
Think of something that totally made your day as a child, and replicate it with a an adult flair.
PS. Naturally I had a gorgeous satin chemise to change into, after drying off with a preheated towel. Make sure that you do too!
Lingerie- how to pose in it, how to capture it.
After last weeks post on how to decide whether or not to pose in lingerie , we are going to have play around with how to actually get the photos that you will love. Lets face it, if a man is getting photos of his sweetheart in lingerie, he is already satisfied. This is going to be about set up, posing, and presentation of your excellent sexy gift, so you feel good.
First you need to get a piece of lingerie that reflects the degree of nudity you are comfortable with (covered last week-pun intended).
I have been on both sides of the camera, here are some set up tips to make this easy.
Natural light is one of the best, very forgiving. If you have a private section you could even have the photo shoot outside. Artificial light too often causes shadows.
Add a little light to your body, use an oil based scrub on the day, and if you like use a body lotion with a little sparkle.
Look down on yourself. Without getting into tricky technical tidbits, you always want your photo taken as if it it was taken by a netball player. Put a stack of books on a tallboy dresser if you must.
If you are shooting it alone, use the sports setting. The camera will take a photo every few seconds leaving you free to focus on posing.
Posing- Two words. Don’t stare. Connecting through the camera lens is a skill that even some models fail on. So take your nose and point it away from the camera. Show the sillhoutte of your face, not the irises of your eyes.
Here are 2 basic poses to get your started, once the fun starts flowing it will come more easily and you can do what makes you feel sexy.
Down on your tummy- head closest to the camera, feet furtherst away. Prop up on your elbows for a delectable view of your chest. A little bit of arching and your derrière will pop into view.
The next pose is just as sexily simple, flip over and instead of popping up your backside, throw up your legs. Try making your legs looks like a flamingo and then crossing them daintly at the ankle. Careful not to bend your knees to far or you calfs will look wider.
Presenting your romantic gift- don’t use wrapping paper for this. Give it in a box, this encourages all the photos to stay in one place and not be left lying around the house.
Another idea for presentation is to present yourself already wrapped in lingerie along with a camera and let him take the photos. The photos will have a triple layer of delight, the photos themselves, the memories of taking them and the good time had afterwards (make sure the camera isn’t on then!).
Happy Valentines Day ladies!
A 4 step,20 minute guide to explosive night
Sex appeal begins now
