Archive for March, 2012
Crisis don’t often define a person, it is the day to day grind. It is the frustration of forgetting baking soda and you wanted to make pancakes. The way your life feels is about whether or not your house is welcoming to yourself and others. It is about whether you take the time to find pleasure for yourself.
So this is a odds and sods collection of tips. Each and every one of these has been tested by me and approved by life.
1. Most people shop once a week, anything you can do to stop it from going wrong is a good thing. For this reason, write your food shopping list in the order the grocery store is in. This allows you to check everything off efficiently and once you are done with a section, you are done. No having to leave your cart to go get the pineapple, you know you grabbed it along with the garlic.
2. Put a (really) high price on the real estate in your brain. This means that if you dislike a person, stop thinking about them. Only think about things that are productive, such a wrestling with a problem mentally. I don’t recommend wrestling them physically, there is a very wise saying about not wrestling pigs. Don’t do it. You get dirty and the pig enjoys it. Following on valuable real estate, realise that something that gives you mental pleasure, reality shows, pop music, gorgeous intimates, are worth it if they make you happy. Don’t have guilty pleasures, just have pleasure.
This is one of my favourite points so I will belabour it a bit more. If you really want to value your mental real estate, stop procrastinating. You will stop having to talk yourself out of doing the task again and again. This actually making your more efficient. You won’t have to think about making that icky phone call 3 times, only and then you do it.
3. You cannot tidy clutter. It just doesn’t happen. I am not a clutter bug myself and it makes keeping the house a lot cleaner much easier. Grab a grocery bag and fill it up with stuff. Do one a day until you are truely happy with the level of knick knacks. Keep in mind that electronic photos frames, scanners and mp3 players really do change how much space we need to keep things.
4. One more thing to think about on the cleaning front- you cannot keep it tidy unless you have proper infrastructure. This means desks with drawers, shelving units, plactic contains (I buy Klip it -always go kiwi), and jars. Trying to keep a clean home without places to put things is like building a sandcastle when the tide is comes in, location matters. On that note, don’t be afraid to put things in ‘odd’ places if that is where you use it more. My hairbrush lives in my rolltop desk, because thats where I usually am when it is about time to brush my hair.
5. Get whiter eyes (looks much more youthful), clearer skin (because acne does not makes you look younger) and better nails by eating fish oil. Nothing easier than making sure you take a few tabs a day.
6. Keep a diary. I am not talking about writing like and angsty teenager, but writing down what you need to get done, where you need to be, and what time you need to be there. The faintest ink is better than the sharpest memories. This adds to you happieness becase you get the satisfaction of knowing that you have accomplished all you set out to do that day. Means you sleep easy, no nagging feelings that you forgot something.
So there you have it, alot of being happy is making sure you are the one running your life and not letting the little things run you. If you know what the little things are (diary, mental real estate, decluttering and grocery lists) , and keeping yourself happy (fish oil and lingerie) life becomes far more managable.
It is incredibly easy to get stuck in a comfortable, but not interesting rhythm. Luckily for you, breaking the monotonous waltz is as easy as 1, 2, 3. So here we go.
Come here! Then go away.
Believe it or not, this one particular move can be done in less than 5 minutes. Expose some flesh, insenoute something erotic, the immediately vacatge the area. Flirty glance over the the shoulder is optional. Men are hunters, even if they work in an office. Let them chase you, it is plenty of fun!
Get Swishy. Be it is a skirt, hair aor dangly earrings, swishing is very femme and men find it fascinating. I love my dangly pearl drop earrings because they take seconds to put it, but for the rest of the day I am set to be that little bit more lovely.
My final dancing tip? Wear something sparkly, it really does take any outfit from ‘nice’ to special.
As I sit here writing this is dawns on me how often I write about enjoying the moment (or at least trying to make sure the unpleasant ones are morebearable). I think it is a mistake to save pleasure for a special occassions, often they get set aside, or don’t come often enough to keep you smiling.
Practical undies change into lingerie when they have more than the bare minimum frill, or they match or they are something completely impractical like a teddy. Wearing lingerie at the end of the day, or middle of the weekend you shift from being all things to all people (mother/wife/employee/girlfriend) to seductress supreme. It is almost impossible to worry when wearing lingerie, the bright colours, smooth textures and general decadence changes how you feel. It is just that simple.
Lingerie is instant sex appeal, never mind that your hair is frizzy, he won’t notice once you are wrapped in satin. Think that your legs look a little dry? Slip on some stockings with a garter belt.
Because lingerie is an everyday thing, rather than once in a blue moon, we make sure our lingerie is the type of quality you can enjoy for years. Much like a good kitchen knife, something that feels good in the hand and will last for years with some loving care (blog post coming up on that soon), make sure you get quality.
This strictly doesn’t fit in with the year of the sexy life. At a stretch you could say more money gives you more wiggle room to buy things that are fun, but again it is a stretch. It is a very important technique that needs to be spread, make sure you share it.
So. How to get a raise without being confrontational.
1. Go to your last performance evaluation and carefully look at any flaws that were pointed out to you. I know it is painful, do it anyways. Ask yourself if you have remedied these issues fully. Ask yourself if there are any other issues that you could address. If you haven’t had a performance review in the last few months, ask for one. Even if it is just an informal chat in your boss’s office.
2. At this point you have looked at your weaknesses so now make a list of your strengths, especially ones that have come to fruition in the last 4 months. Fix in your mind how these have benefited the business? Has your networking started to pay off?
3. Figure out what you are worth. Your worth here being what the current market is willing to pay for your skillset in your area. It this case, take passion out of it. Think of yourself as a piece of real estate. Four years ago the real estate market was overheated, even Tokoroa properties were going for a fair amount. Now, unless you talk about a 3/2 in Auckland, values have fallen. It is the same in the job market. Your friend may have gotten $20,000 more in Wellington, but if you are in a small town your value may be less. So, put your emotions in a box and work out your value.
4. Work out your BANTA. I am a have had trained negotiotor, for those of you who aren’t BANTA stands for your Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement. Essentlialy, if you current job fell off the face of the planet, what would you do instead?
5. Sweet as pie, cunning as a weasel, ask your boss for a meeting. List how you have grown in the last 6 months- 1 year and how this has made the firm money. Discuss how with hard work in 6 months time you and the boss could discuss a payrise. Them most importantly, be quiet! Listen to every work, huff, grunt and sigh that person makes. It will tell you where you stand. This gives the boss time to acclimate to the idea, and set in their mind that if you start doing X, Y and Z, well then of course they want to give you a raise to keep you. It put them at ease, this is not a power play, but a strategy session between you and them. Cooperation rather than confrontation.
6. The second you get out of that meeting write down every suggestion that person made. Re-read it every morning and evaluate yourself against that checklist once a week. Keep a record for yourself.
7. In 6 months and 1 week go back to the boss to discuss how things have come along and about the raise.
Simple. This all assumes that you have a reasonable boss and that there is a raise to be had once you have achieved a certain level of success. If you boss is not interested in giving a raise to deserving staff, then maybe thinking about you BANTA should be first on your list. Sometimes the options are lump it or leave.
Not the sexiest topic I have written about in my life, but worth every word.
Yours in success (and sexy lingerie),
Not the sexiest topic I have written about in my life, but worth every word.
PS. I am currently working on a craft for you house proud ladies out there, or those who are soon to be married. If you want to join in, start finishing off a bottle of wine. I will be posting it by the end of the month, so you don’t have to finish it all now!
They year of the sexy life is more than just keeping ontop of your lingerie drawer, it is about you feeling fabulous. From cleaning, to decorating and cooking you entire life should be 360 degrees of grand gestures of delight and little touches of sexy.
Having something you can pull out of the freezer that is tasy, goes with lots of things (much like a bottom hugging pair ofjeans), and is guilt free definitely fits in with the year of the sexy life.
Here it is. The perfect recipe to help you savour summer well into winter. It takes about 12 hours to complete start to finish (stay with me people) but only requires 20 minutes of actual work. 3 ingrediants. Simple!
Here is the 3 part ingrediant list:
Tomatos (around 750 g – kg of tomatoes per baking tray)
1. Set up your sieve over a bowl. Pull out a cutting board (wooden please-love your knives) and slice the tomatos into 1 cm slices.
2.Remove the cores and salt the them very well. We are trying o pull the moisture out of them, most of the salt will drain off easily.
3. After 2 hours in the sieve splash up to 1/2 a cup of olive oil on the tomatos. If you want you can leave them overnight, not strictly necessary, but if that what works for you schedule do it. They should have a nice glossy sheen to them.
4. Place in a 150 C oven for an hour and a half turning halfway through. Leave in the oven overnight.
5. Keeps in the fridge for a week, or put in the freezer for 4 months.
Enjoy with pasta, rice, cheese and crackers, baked potatos or with green beans.
Italian styled bliss to you all!
PS. When I was shooting this, I realised I hadn’t oiled my boards in over a year. Shame on me. Learn from my fail and use the olive oil on your boards.